I apologize for not posting recently. I've been struggling with keeping up on everything. It seems my knack for making excuses has been creeping in again . . . I did weigh myself last Wednesday and I am down another two pounds, to 288. That's encouraging. I've not been as consistent with walking and lifting and eating well over the past week or two. I'm finding that it is so important to keep the encouraging self-talk going. I also find that my visualizations do a lot of good as I am consistent and keep those images of getting healthy in mind as I feel like blowing off a walk or eating more than I should. It's a process and I'm still learning.
One of the things I've been doing for the past several weeks is utilizing an app on my phone to keep track of my walks. I'd like to share some of the statistics from this month so far, as I think it's pretty cool. So far in November, I've walked 17 times for a total of 17 hours and 12 minutes. The distance I've walked in that time has been 48.51 miles. I average about 21 minutes per mile, although today I averaged just under 20. Not bad for a brisk walk! I would like to be able to do 5k in under an hour. I'm pretty close! This is encouraging.
Monday, November 23, 2015
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
New Pictures and an Update
Today marks eight weeks since my first round of pictures. I plan to do them every four weeks, so here's what I look like as of today, compared to the first pictures:
Today (11/11/15) Beginning (9/16/15)
Today Beginning
Yesterday I weighed in at 290 lbs. That's a loss of a total of 18 pounds since September 21st. I have found that I lose the most weight on the weeks where I conscientiously do my weight loss visualizations every day. I continue to walk for an hour most, if not every, day of the week. I've also started doing some weight lifts for my arms and push ups, planks, etc. Those are getting a little easier. I work to eat healthy most of the time, but do indulge a little now and then. I don't beat myself up for those times, though. It's a process. I'm learning more every day and looking forward to continuing this journey.
Today (11/11/15) Beginning (9/16/15)
Today Beginning
Yesterday I weighed in at 290 lbs. That's a loss of a total of 18 pounds since September 21st. I have found that I lose the most weight on the weeks where I conscientiously do my weight loss visualizations every day. I continue to walk for an hour most, if not every, day of the week. I've also started doing some weight lifts for my arms and push ups, planks, etc. Those are getting a little easier. I work to eat healthy most of the time, but do indulge a little now and then. I don't beat myself up for those times, though. It's a process. I'm learning more every day and looking forward to continuing this journey.
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Losing Momentum
I hate to admit it, but I've been losing momentum over the past week. I've been tired and with the colder weather, walking is getting harder. I've tried to not focus on results and instead understand that it will take time, but I have to admit that I am getting impatient. I assume this is normal and I am trying to not get frustrated. I know that I just need to push through and keep moving forward. I didn't eat the greatest this past weekend (um, Halloween) and I could feel the difference that makes. The candy I splurged on didn't even taste that great. So, I am learning and changing. As for my impatience and wavering motivation: I just need to suck it up and keep going. Don't mind my pity party too much--I know it will pass. Thanks for your support thus far.
Monday, October 26, 2015
What I'm Gaining
I continue to move forward and push myself. It's not easy. But, I never really expected it to be. I missed two days of walking last week and boy did I notice when I got back to it! With the weather getting colder and the darker mornings and evenings it would be so easy to stay in bed but I keep forcing myself forward. I am still making progress. I weighed in this morning at 295, down another four pounds. My main focus has been on getting healthier, but it does feel nice to see the weight going down. As I'm losing, I'm most definitely gaining. Gaining muscle tone and endurance. Gaining confidence it what I can do. Gaining a more positive outlook. Sometimes I still feel a sense of loss at what I've perceived myself to have given up: sleep, my comfort zone, certain foods I used to eat with gusto. But, I keep reminding myself of what I have, and continue to, gain and I know it is all worth it. What I'm gaining is of far greater worth than what I am losing.
Sunday, October 18, 2015
Take a Walk With Me
One of the challenges I have with this blog is thinking of things to write about. Sometimes there is a clear event or piece of progress I want to share. Most of the time, I worry about boring everyone. This is because, basically, my work toward getting healthy is pretty boring. I'm not doing anything fantastic or interesting from day-to-day. I stretch. I walk. I try to eat less and I try to eat better. I work to stay motivated. That's about it.
In spite of the dullness, I do have moments of pure enjoyment and clarity. These come as I'm walking each day. My mind wanders and I have the opportunity to enjoy some quiet and some time to contemplate without four people vying for my attention. Sometimes my mind wanders into interesting places. This is the case of the other morning as I thought of how I might narrate that small portion of my walk. It went something like this:
"I trod along, my feet moving methodically as I propel myself forward. The sidewalk is occasionally uneven and broken. The extra effort it takes to move around the cracks and lifted corners of the cement breaks my concentration and awakens the dull throb in my left knee. The pain is slight and I remind myself that it will be temporary--as I keep moving forward I will notice it less and less until the day comes when it is no longer there. I lift my head to look around in an attempt to move my focus away from my feet. My imagination is suddenly captured by the vibrant colors of the leaves. The trees are in full autumn dress--blushing reds, royal yellows and dying browns. I wonder at the hues so bright in the morning sun. Do the trees revel in their colorful splendor? What color would I choose, were I given the choice? Is there a sadness being expressed in the loss of summer green, or only joy at the knowledge that winter death will bring spring renewal?
I become distracted from my musings by a barking dog in a nearby yard. I have grown accustomed to the barking but offer a silent apology to any still-sleeping neighbors as I pass by. I quicken my steps and the throbbing continues in my knee. My legs, too, are feeling the work and the muscles are getting sore. It just means they are getting stronger I remind myself. Keep pushing forward--you are strong and you are capable and this will get easier. I quietly cheer myself on and imagine the day when I can run down these streets in ease. I pass under a catalpa tree, the dark brown seed pods making a satisfying crunch under my pink-and-black sneakers. I smile at the sound.
Turning a corner, I awake a small group of black crickets. They scurry away at my approach, barely making the short hop into the grass before I pass by. As I see the crickets, I recall that my daughter, Layla, had recently asked if she could catch some to take to school. She was very excited to announce that, if she brought a live cricket to class, she would get a piece of candy. When I had asked what the crickets were for, she explained that they would be lunch for the class tarantula, Tula. A couple of days later, Layla captured an unfortunate cricket on the way to school. She placed it in the side pocket of her backpack--a fine specimen to be devoured for sure. I realize that I had failed to ask Layla how this turned out. Did the cricket make it to class okay? Were all of the legs still attached as it arrived? Was Tula pleased with the offering? I make a mental note to ask about this later and continue on my walk."
In spite of the dullness, I do have moments of pure enjoyment and clarity. These come as I'm walking each day. My mind wanders and I have the opportunity to enjoy some quiet and some time to contemplate without four people vying for my attention. Sometimes my mind wanders into interesting places. This is the case of the other morning as I thought of how I might narrate that small portion of my walk. It went something like this:
"I trod along, my feet moving methodically as I propel myself forward. The sidewalk is occasionally uneven and broken. The extra effort it takes to move around the cracks and lifted corners of the cement breaks my concentration and awakens the dull throb in my left knee. The pain is slight and I remind myself that it will be temporary--as I keep moving forward I will notice it less and less until the day comes when it is no longer there. I lift my head to look around in an attempt to move my focus away from my feet. My imagination is suddenly captured by the vibrant colors of the leaves. The trees are in full autumn dress--blushing reds, royal yellows and dying browns. I wonder at the hues so bright in the morning sun. Do the trees revel in their colorful splendor? What color would I choose, were I given the choice? Is there a sadness being expressed in the loss of summer green, or only joy at the knowledge that winter death will bring spring renewal?
I become distracted from my musings by a barking dog in a nearby yard. I have grown accustomed to the barking but offer a silent apology to any still-sleeping neighbors as I pass by. I quicken my steps and the throbbing continues in my knee. My legs, too, are feeling the work and the muscles are getting sore. It just means they are getting stronger I remind myself. Keep pushing forward--you are strong and you are capable and this will get easier. I quietly cheer myself on and imagine the day when I can run down these streets in ease. I pass under a catalpa tree, the dark brown seed pods making a satisfying crunch under my pink-and-black sneakers. I smile at the sound.
Turning a corner, I awake a small group of black crickets. They scurry away at my approach, barely making the short hop into the grass before I pass by. As I see the crickets, I recall that my daughter, Layla, had recently asked if she could catch some to take to school. She was very excited to announce that, if she brought a live cricket to class, she would get a piece of candy. When I had asked what the crickets were for, she explained that they would be lunch for the class tarantula, Tula. A couple of days later, Layla captured an unfortunate cricket on the way to school. She placed it in the side pocket of her backpack--a fine specimen to be devoured for sure. I realize that I had failed to ask Layla how this turned out. Did the cricket make it to class okay? Were all of the legs still attached as it arrived? Was Tula pleased with the offering? I make a mental note to ask about this later and continue on my walk."
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
Progress in Pictures
Exactly four weeks ago today, I had Rick take some "before" pictures of me. Today, he again took some pictures for me to help me mark my progress. So, here they are. I hope you can see some progress. I can! (Yes, Spencer is photo-bombing.)
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| Today |
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| Four Weeks Ago |
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| Four Weeks Ago |
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| Today |
Saturday, October 10, 2015
Conquering Hills
Lately, I've been conquering hills. Not just physically, but figuratively, as well. Granted, they are not very big hills, but I feel them nonetheless. Let's take today's walk, for example. I was already about 20 minutes in, about 1/3 of the way through (I've been doing about an hour of walking everyday) and was feeling every step. (This probably had something to do with the 1 1/2 hours of walking we had already done this morning with the kids at the museum.) I was tired. And sore. And not pushing myself very hard. I came to a point where I had a choice to make. I could turn right and take an easy, flat, mostly shaded street heading back towards home. Or, I could go straight and up a noticeable hill. It probably isn't much to most people, but it intimidated me. I knew it would hurt. I knew it would make the last half of my walk harder. What route would you choose?
The "old" me would have taken the easier route. The "new" me pushed myself through this challenge. I made it up the hill. Most significant is how I made it up the hill. I talked to myself. I encouraged myself. I cheered myself on. My little voice in my head told me to push forward, that I was strong and capable, that I could do this and it would feel great. I told myself that I could do hard things and that as I did them, they would get easier. I told myself that I was already getting stronger and healthier and that I could overcome the many hills and challenges I have been facing. I told myself that I was not a quitter and that I could achieve anything. Being able to say these things to myself, and really believe them, is a big deal.
You see, the self-talk I have been using for some time had not been very nice. I've gotten really good at tearing myself down. And equally as bad, I've gotten really good at excusing myself from good challenges and rewarding myself in poor ways. A couple of months ago, I probably would have been telling myself that there was no way I could get my fat butt up that hill. In fact, I would have been dwelling on my soreness, and tiredness, and excusing myself to sit down and rest and oh, here's a candy bar or two--you deserve them. Then I would have mentally berated myself for being so fat and lazy. It's amazing how much of a difference it makes when that mental shift occurs and one is now able to speak positively to oneself. I know I can feel the change, and it's amazing.
One of the things that has been helping with this shift is a book that Rick and I read and are using together. It's from Jon Gabriel and is called Visualization for Weight Loss. It will take time to determine if the visualizations will actually help with losing weight, but I have already been reaping the benefits of changing the way I think about my weight loss and, of course, myself. Part of what I took away from the book right away was the need to think encouragingly about what I am doing. I have found myself encouraging myself more and more as I am walking. I tell myself that I'm strong, that I'm getting healthier every day, that each step I take is getting me closer to where I want to be. I keep telling myself this, even though I can't always tell that I'm getting stronger or healthier or thinner. I believe it is happening, and picture it, and that helps keeping me going. I can feel myself becoming more positive and this is an important, big deal to me.
As far as the weight loss and getting thinner, etc., I know it will take time to really see and feel results. However, I did see an old co-worker this week who asked if I was exercising and seemed surprised when she saw me, which made me feel good. Oh, and Rick tells me he can tell that something is happening because I'm getting "squishier." I choose to take that as a compliment.
The "old" me would have taken the easier route. The "new" me pushed myself through this challenge. I made it up the hill. Most significant is how I made it up the hill. I talked to myself. I encouraged myself. I cheered myself on. My little voice in my head told me to push forward, that I was strong and capable, that I could do this and it would feel great. I told myself that I could do hard things and that as I did them, they would get easier. I told myself that I was already getting stronger and healthier and that I could overcome the many hills and challenges I have been facing. I told myself that I was not a quitter and that I could achieve anything. Being able to say these things to myself, and really believe them, is a big deal.
You see, the self-talk I have been using for some time had not been very nice. I've gotten really good at tearing myself down. And equally as bad, I've gotten really good at excusing myself from good challenges and rewarding myself in poor ways. A couple of months ago, I probably would have been telling myself that there was no way I could get my fat butt up that hill. In fact, I would have been dwelling on my soreness, and tiredness, and excusing myself to sit down and rest and oh, here's a candy bar or two--you deserve them. Then I would have mentally berated myself for being so fat and lazy. It's amazing how much of a difference it makes when that mental shift occurs and one is now able to speak positively to oneself. I know I can feel the change, and it's amazing.
One of the things that has been helping with this shift is a book that Rick and I read and are using together. It's from Jon Gabriel and is called Visualization for Weight Loss. It will take time to determine if the visualizations will actually help with losing weight, but I have already been reaping the benefits of changing the way I think about my weight loss and, of course, myself. Part of what I took away from the book right away was the need to think encouragingly about what I am doing. I have found myself encouraging myself more and more as I am walking. I tell myself that I'm strong, that I'm getting healthier every day, that each step I take is getting me closer to where I want to be. I keep telling myself this, even though I can't always tell that I'm getting stronger or healthier or thinner. I believe it is happening, and picture it, and that helps keeping me going. I can feel myself becoming more positive and this is an important, big deal to me.
As far as the weight loss and getting thinner, etc., I know it will take time to really see and feel results. However, I did see an old co-worker this week who asked if I was exercising and seemed surprised when she saw me, which made me feel good. Oh, and Rick tells me he can tell that something is happening because I'm getting "squishier." I choose to take that as a compliment.
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