I apologize for not posting recently. I've been struggling with keeping up on everything. It seems my knack for making excuses has been creeping in again . . . I did weigh myself last Wednesday and I am down another two pounds, to 288. That's encouraging. I've not been as consistent with walking and lifting and eating well over the past week or two. I'm finding that it is so important to keep the encouraging self-talk going. I also find that my visualizations do a lot of good as I am consistent and keep those images of getting healthy in mind as I feel like blowing off a walk or eating more than I should. It's a process and I'm still learning.
One of the things I've been doing for the past several weeks is utilizing an app on my phone to keep track of my walks. I'd like to share some of the statistics from this month so far, as I think it's pretty cool. So far in November, I've walked 17 times for a total of 17 hours and 12 minutes. The distance I've walked in that time has been 48.51 miles. I average about 21 minutes per mile, although today I averaged just under 20. Not bad for a brisk walk! I would like to be able to do 5k in under an hour. I'm pretty close! This is encouraging.
Monday, November 23, 2015
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
New Pictures and an Update
Today marks eight weeks since my first round of pictures. I plan to do them every four weeks, so here's what I look like as of today, compared to the first pictures:
Today (11/11/15) Beginning (9/16/15)
Today Beginning
Yesterday I weighed in at 290 lbs. That's a loss of a total of 18 pounds since September 21st. I have found that I lose the most weight on the weeks where I conscientiously do my weight loss visualizations every day. I continue to walk for an hour most, if not every, day of the week. I've also started doing some weight lifts for my arms and push ups, planks, etc. Those are getting a little easier. I work to eat healthy most of the time, but do indulge a little now and then. I don't beat myself up for those times, though. It's a process. I'm learning more every day and looking forward to continuing this journey.
Today (11/11/15) Beginning (9/16/15)
Today Beginning
Yesterday I weighed in at 290 lbs. That's a loss of a total of 18 pounds since September 21st. I have found that I lose the most weight on the weeks where I conscientiously do my weight loss visualizations every day. I continue to walk for an hour most, if not every, day of the week. I've also started doing some weight lifts for my arms and push ups, planks, etc. Those are getting a little easier. I work to eat healthy most of the time, but do indulge a little now and then. I don't beat myself up for those times, though. It's a process. I'm learning more every day and looking forward to continuing this journey.
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Losing Momentum
I hate to admit it, but I've been losing momentum over the past week. I've been tired and with the colder weather, walking is getting harder. I've tried to not focus on results and instead understand that it will take time, but I have to admit that I am getting impatient. I assume this is normal and I am trying to not get frustrated. I know that I just need to push through and keep moving forward. I didn't eat the greatest this past weekend (um, Halloween) and I could feel the difference that makes. The candy I splurged on didn't even taste that great. So, I am learning and changing. As for my impatience and wavering motivation: I just need to suck it up and keep going. Don't mind my pity party too much--I know it will pass. Thanks for your support thus far.
Monday, October 26, 2015
What I'm Gaining
I continue to move forward and push myself. It's not easy. But, I never really expected it to be. I missed two days of walking last week and boy did I notice when I got back to it! With the weather getting colder and the darker mornings and evenings it would be so easy to stay in bed but I keep forcing myself forward. I am still making progress. I weighed in this morning at 295, down another four pounds. My main focus has been on getting healthier, but it does feel nice to see the weight going down. As I'm losing, I'm most definitely gaining. Gaining muscle tone and endurance. Gaining confidence it what I can do. Gaining a more positive outlook. Sometimes I still feel a sense of loss at what I've perceived myself to have given up: sleep, my comfort zone, certain foods I used to eat with gusto. But, I keep reminding myself of what I have, and continue to, gain and I know it is all worth it. What I'm gaining is of far greater worth than what I am losing.
Sunday, October 18, 2015
Take a Walk With Me
One of the challenges I have with this blog is thinking of things to write about. Sometimes there is a clear event or piece of progress I want to share. Most of the time, I worry about boring everyone. This is because, basically, my work toward getting healthy is pretty boring. I'm not doing anything fantastic or interesting from day-to-day. I stretch. I walk. I try to eat less and I try to eat better. I work to stay motivated. That's about it.
In spite of the dullness, I do have moments of pure enjoyment and clarity. These come as I'm walking each day. My mind wanders and I have the opportunity to enjoy some quiet and some time to contemplate without four people vying for my attention. Sometimes my mind wanders into interesting places. This is the case of the other morning as I thought of how I might narrate that small portion of my walk. It went something like this:
"I trod along, my feet moving methodically as I propel myself forward. The sidewalk is occasionally uneven and broken. The extra effort it takes to move around the cracks and lifted corners of the cement breaks my concentration and awakens the dull throb in my left knee. The pain is slight and I remind myself that it will be temporary--as I keep moving forward I will notice it less and less until the day comes when it is no longer there. I lift my head to look around in an attempt to move my focus away from my feet. My imagination is suddenly captured by the vibrant colors of the leaves. The trees are in full autumn dress--blushing reds, royal yellows and dying browns. I wonder at the hues so bright in the morning sun. Do the trees revel in their colorful splendor? What color would I choose, were I given the choice? Is there a sadness being expressed in the loss of summer green, or only joy at the knowledge that winter death will bring spring renewal?
I become distracted from my musings by a barking dog in a nearby yard. I have grown accustomed to the barking but offer a silent apology to any still-sleeping neighbors as I pass by. I quicken my steps and the throbbing continues in my knee. My legs, too, are feeling the work and the muscles are getting sore. It just means they are getting stronger I remind myself. Keep pushing forward--you are strong and you are capable and this will get easier. I quietly cheer myself on and imagine the day when I can run down these streets in ease. I pass under a catalpa tree, the dark brown seed pods making a satisfying crunch under my pink-and-black sneakers. I smile at the sound.
Turning a corner, I awake a small group of black crickets. They scurry away at my approach, barely making the short hop into the grass before I pass by. As I see the crickets, I recall that my daughter, Layla, had recently asked if she could catch some to take to school. She was very excited to announce that, if she brought a live cricket to class, she would get a piece of candy. When I had asked what the crickets were for, she explained that they would be lunch for the class tarantula, Tula. A couple of days later, Layla captured an unfortunate cricket on the way to school. She placed it in the side pocket of her backpack--a fine specimen to be devoured for sure. I realize that I had failed to ask Layla how this turned out. Did the cricket make it to class okay? Were all of the legs still attached as it arrived? Was Tula pleased with the offering? I make a mental note to ask about this later and continue on my walk."
In spite of the dullness, I do have moments of pure enjoyment and clarity. These come as I'm walking each day. My mind wanders and I have the opportunity to enjoy some quiet and some time to contemplate without four people vying for my attention. Sometimes my mind wanders into interesting places. This is the case of the other morning as I thought of how I might narrate that small portion of my walk. It went something like this:
"I trod along, my feet moving methodically as I propel myself forward. The sidewalk is occasionally uneven and broken. The extra effort it takes to move around the cracks and lifted corners of the cement breaks my concentration and awakens the dull throb in my left knee. The pain is slight and I remind myself that it will be temporary--as I keep moving forward I will notice it less and less until the day comes when it is no longer there. I lift my head to look around in an attempt to move my focus away from my feet. My imagination is suddenly captured by the vibrant colors of the leaves. The trees are in full autumn dress--blushing reds, royal yellows and dying browns. I wonder at the hues so bright in the morning sun. Do the trees revel in their colorful splendor? What color would I choose, were I given the choice? Is there a sadness being expressed in the loss of summer green, or only joy at the knowledge that winter death will bring spring renewal?
I become distracted from my musings by a barking dog in a nearby yard. I have grown accustomed to the barking but offer a silent apology to any still-sleeping neighbors as I pass by. I quicken my steps and the throbbing continues in my knee. My legs, too, are feeling the work and the muscles are getting sore. It just means they are getting stronger I remind myself. Keep pushing forward--you are strong and you are capable and this will get easier. I quietly cheer myself on and imagine the day when I can run down these streets in ease. I pass under a catalpa tree, the dark brown seed pods making a satisfying crunch under my pink-and-black sneakers. I smile at the sound.
Turning a corner, I awake a small group of black crickets. They scurry away at my approach, barely making the short hop into the grass before I pass by. As I see the crickets, I recall that my daughter, Layla, had recently asked if she could catch some to take to school. She was very excited to announce that, if she brought a live cricket to class, she would get a piece of candy. When I had asked what the crickets were for, she explained that they would be lunch for the class tarantula, Tula. A couple of days later, Layla captured an unfortunate cricket on the way to school. She placed it in the side pocket of her backpack--a fine specimen to be devoured for sure. I realize that I had failed to ask Layla how this turned out. Did the cricket make it to class okay? Were all of the legs still attached as it arrived? Was Tula pleased with the offering? I make a mental note to ask about this later and continue on my walk."
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
Progress in Pictures
Exactly four weeks ago today, I had Rick take some "before" pictures of me. Today, he again took some pictures for me to help me mark my progress. So, here they are. I hope you can see some progress. I can! (Yes, Spencer is photo-bombing.)
 |
| Today |
 |
| Four Weeks Ago |
 |
| Four Weeks Ago |
 |
| Today |
Saturday, October 10, 2015
Conquering Hills
Lately, I've been conquering hills. Not just physically, but figuratively, as well. Granted, they are not very big hills, but I feel them nonetheless. Let's take today's walk, for example. I was already about 20 minutes in, about 1/3 of the way through (I've been doing about an hour of walking everyday) and was feeling every step. (This probably had something to do with the 1 1/2 hours of walking we had already done this morning with the kids at the museum.) I was tired. And sore. And not pushing myself very hard. I came to a point where I had a choice to make. I could turn right and take an easy, flat, mostly shaded street heading back towards home. Or, I could go straight and up a noticeable hill. It probably isn't much to most people, but it intimidated me. I knew it would hurt. I knew it would make the last half of my walk harder. What route would you choose?
The "old" me would have taken the easier route. The "new" me pushed myself through this challenge. I made it up the hill. Most significant is how I made it up the hill. I talked to myself. I encouraged myself. I cheered myself on. My little voice in my head told me to push forward, that I was strong and capable, that I could do this and it would feel great. I told myself that I could do hard things and that as I did them, they would get easier. I told myself that I was already getting stronger and healthier and that I could overcome the many hills and challenges I have been facing. I told myself that I was not a quitter and that I could achieve anything. Being able to say these things to myself, and really believe them, is a big deal.
You see, the self-talk I have been using for some time had not been very nice. I've gotten really good at tearing myself down. And equally as bad, I've gotten really good at excusing myself from good challenges and rewarding myself in poor ways. A couple of months ago, I probably would have been telling myself that there was no way I could get my fat butt up that hill. In fact, I would have been dwelling on my soreness, and tiredness, and excusing myself to sit down and rest and oh, here's a candy bar or two--you deserve them. Then I would have mentally berated myself for being so fat and lazy. It's amazing how much of a difference it makes when that mental shift occurs and one is now able to speak positively to oneself. I know I can feel the change, and it's amazing.
One of the things that has been helping with this shift is a book that Rick and I read and are using together. It's from Jon Gabriel and is called Visualization for Weight Loss. It will take time to determine if the visualizations will actually help with losing weight, but I have already been reaping the benefits of changing the way I think about my weight loss and, of course, myself. Part of what I took away from the book right away was the need to think encouragingly about what I am doing. I have found myself encouraging myself more and more as I am walking. I tell myself that I'm strong, that I'm getting healthier every day, that each step I take is getting me closer to where I want to be. I keep telling myself this, even though I can't always tell that I'm getting stronger or healthier or thinner. I believe it is happening, and picture it, and that helps keeping me going. I can feel myself becoming more positive and this is an important, big deal to me.
As far as the weight loss and getting thinner, etc., I know it will take time to really see and feel results. However, I did see an old co-worker this week who asked if I was exercising and seemed surprised when she saw me, which made me feel good. Oh, and Rick tells me he can tell that something is happening because I'm getting "squishier." I choose to take that as a compliment.
The "old" me would have taken the easier route. The "new" me pushed myself through this challenge. I made it up the hill. Most significant is how I made it up the hill. I talked to myself. I encouraged myself. I cheered myself on. My little voice in my head told me to push forward, that I was strong and capable, that I could do this and it would feel great. I told myself that I could do hard things and that as I did them, they would get easier. I told myself that I was already getting stronger and healthier and that I could overcome the many hills and challenges I have been facing. I told myself that I was not a quitter and that I could achieve anything. Being able to say these things to myself, and really believe them, is a big deal.
You see, the self-talk I have been using for some time had not been very nice. I've gotten really good at tearing myself down. And equally as bad, I've gotten really good at excusing myself from good challenges and rewarding myself in poor ways. A couple of months ago, I probably would have been telling myself that there was no way I could get my fat butt up that hill. In fact, I would have been dwelling on my soreness, and tiredness, and excusing myself to sit down and rest and oh, here's a candy bar or two--you deserve them. Then I would have mentally berated myself for being so fat and lazy. It's amazing how much of a difference it makes when that mental shift occurs and one is now able to speak positively to oneself. I know I can feel the change, and it's amazing.
One of the things that has been helping with this shift is a book that Rick and I read and are using together. It's from Jon Gabriel and is called Visualization for Weight Loss. It will take time to determine if the visualizations will actually help with losing weight, but I have already been reaping the benefits of changing the way I think about my weight loss and, of course, myself. Part of what I took away from the book right away was the need to think encouragingly about what I am doing. I have found myself encouraging myself more and more as I am walking. I tell myself that I'm strong, that I'm getting healthier every day, that each step I take is getting me closer to where I want to be. I keep telling myself this, even though I can't always tell that I'm getting stronger or healthier or thinner. I believe it is happening, and picture it, and that helps keeping me going. I can feel myself becoming more positive and this is an important, big deal to me.
As far as the weight loss and getting thinner, etc., I know it will take time to really see and feel results. However, I did see an old co-worker this week who asked if I was exercising and seemed surprised when she saw me, which made me feel good. Oh, and Rick tells me he can tell that something is happening because I'm getting "squishier." I choose to take that as a compliment.
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
A Few Thoughts
I've had a few thoughts bumping around in my mind today; I hope that I can do some justice as I attempt to share them. I have come to believe that trials provide an opportunity for learning and growth. The challenge, for me, is to recognize this while the trial is still happening. One of the hardest trials I have faced (and continue to face) in my married life centers on employment. Many of you may know that I was laid off from my job in August. This is my third lay-off in less than eight years and this trial is particularly difficult because it stresses so many parts of my family and I's life. Each time this happens, however, I am afforded a great opportunity to do and learn something important.
In 2008, after only seven months at my first "real job" and just part-way through our first year of marriage, I was laid-off as grant funding was cut. This first lay-off wasn't as difficult as later ones, but it was challenging. Finding myself afforded some extra time, I spent the months after that job loss focusing on my spiritual health and growth. The experiences I had as a result have provided sweet memories and have continued to uplift and support me to this day.
Last fall, I was again laid-off from a job after funding to our grant was cut. This job loss was harder to recover from because it had taken much time and effort to secure the position and I had more people relying on me than previously. As challenging as this was, it allowed our family to seek out a new place where we have found many joys. The kids love their schools and enjoy more opportunities here than we had before us previously. We also enjoyed a little more financial security in my new position and were, finally, self-sufficient.
Losing the self-sufficiency we obtained with my most recent position was one of the hardest parts of this lay-off. There is a lot of fear present when you don't know how you're going to make ends meet and be able to support those dear family members who so heavily rely on you. It is easy to become depressed and I know that my self-esteem has most decidedly been affected--even though the job loss had nothing to do with me and only occurred as our program lost funding. I am realizing, though, that this period of unemployment has allowed me to really take stock of what is important and is pushing me to focus more on things that have previously been neglected--including my health. For this opportunity, I appreciate the time I have been given and hope that I am making the most of it. I believe that I am.
As a side note--I weighed myself this morning at the same place I previously weighed. I am at 301.7, down over six pounds. This is me smiling. :)
In 2008, after only seven months at my first "real job" and just part-way through our first year of marriage, I was laid-off as grant funding was cut. This first lay-off wasn't as difficult as later ones, but it was challenging. Finding myself afforded some extra time, I spent the months after that job loss focusing on my spiritual health and growth. The experiences I had as a result have provided sweet memories and have continued to uplift and support me to this day.
Last fall, I was again laid-off from a job after funding to our grant was cut. This job loss was harder to recover from because it had taken much time and effort to secure the position and I had more people relying on me than previously. As challenging as this was, it allowed our family to seek out a new place where we have found many joys. The kids love their schools and enjoy more opportunities here than we had before us previously. We also enjoyed a little more financial security in my new position and were, finally, self-sufficient.
Losing the self-sufficiency we obtained with my most recent position was one of the hardest parts of this lay-off. There is a lot of fear present when you don't know how you're going to make ends meet and be able to support those dear family members who so heavily rely on you. It is easy to become depressed and I know that my self-esteem has most decidedly been affected--even though the job loss had nothing to do with me and only occurred as our program lost funding. I am realizing, though, that this period of unemployment has allowed me to really take stock of what is important and is pushing me to focus more on things that have previously been neglected--including my health. For this opportunity, I appreciate the time I have been given and hope that I am making the most of it. I believe that I am.
As a side note--I weighed myself this morning at the same place I previously weighed. I am at 301.7, down over six pounds. This is me smiling. :)
Thursday, October 1, 2015
An Encouraging Revelation
I wanted to share an encouraging event from this week. As stated previously, one of my food addictions from the recent months was the large strawberry or cherry limeades from Sonic. I had not had one since beginning my quest for better health and this item was by far one of my greater cravings. After a rough day earlier this week, I went and obtained said item. I was only able to get in about ten sips before determining that it did, indeed, taste terrible to me and I had no desire to drink it. I felt guilty throwing away the drink, but I think it was a break-through to realize that the sugary beverage no longer appealed to me and I believe that I will no longer suffer from that craving. Although it has been difficult for me to change the way I eat and drink, I am finding that it is getting easier.
On that note, I thought I'd share some of the ways I've been improving my eating and drinking habits. One is to drink more water. I strive to drink about five liters of water everyday. I often don't drink that much, but it is a goal I've made based on my weight and suggested intake. One way I've come to really enjoy my water is through the addition of a couple of drops of lemon essential oil. Rick and I are using Young Living Essential Oils and have come to love the products. I am not usually one to like lemon in my water, but I find that this addition of lemon oil is refreshing and appetizing to me.
For breakfast every day, I have been trying to include plenty of protein. Usually, I will have two egg whites and one egg scrambled with olive oil, chopped bell pepper or spinach, sprinkled with pepper and a little mozzarella cheese. Yum! For lunch I make a salad. It varies, but I love to use fresh cabbage. I may mix this with fresh spinach and/or romaine lettuce. I usually top it will some walnuts, feta cheese, craisins, maybe some apple or some chopped, cooked chicken. The chicken is baked with olive oil or cooked in the crockpot. My salad is dressed with low-fat balsamic vinaigrette. Where has this dressing been all my life?! My stomach is currently growling in anticipation.
I usually have an afternoon snack of fruit or some low-fat cottage cheese (watch portions!) and then eat dinner with the rest of the family. I try to be careful with portion sizes at dinner time but don't stress myself out too much. It's a process! Sometimes after dinner I will be craving sweetness. I have a container of protein ball mixture and eat a spoonful when I have such cravings. That will usually tide me over and keep me from seeking out a bag of chocolate chips to finish off.
Is my diet perfect? No. Am I learning new habits and healthier options? Yes. That's what matters. I still crave heavier options and even find myself longing for fast food at times. What a strange emotion of sadness I felt the other day when I saw someone else in a drive-thru line and wished it was me. How disappointing that I should feel that way! How proud I was that I didn't turn the car around. I still have a ways to go but I keep reminding myself that it will be hard. I will be hungry. It will take time to see and feel real results. But, it will be worth it. I have spent too much time in my life in the habit of wishing and dreaming to be fit and healthy and, for the first time in my life, I now see this instead as an obtainable goal. That keeps me going.
On that note, I thought I'd share some of the ways I've been improving my eating and drinking habits. One is to drink more water. I strive to drink about five liters of water everyday. I often don't drink that much, but it is a goal I've made based on my weight and suggested intake. One way I've come to really enjoy my water is through the addition of a couple of drops of lemon essential oil. Rick and I are using Young Living Essential Oils and have come to love the products. I am not usually one to like lemon in my water, but I find that this addition of lemon oil is refreshing and appetizing to me.
For breakfast every day, I have been trying to include plenty of protein. Usually, I will have two egg whites and one egg scrambled with olive oil, chopped bell pepper or spinach, sprinkled with pepper and a little mozzarella cheese. Yum! For lunch I make a salad. It varies, but I love to use fresh cabbage. I may mix this with fresh spinach and/or romaine lettuce. I usually top it will some walnuts, feta cheese, craisins, maybe some apple or some chopped, cooked chicken. The chicken is baked with olive oil or cooked in the crockpot. My salad is dressed with low-fat balsamic vinaigrette. Where has this dressing been all my life?! My stomach is currently growling in anticipation.
I usually have an afternoon snack of fruit or some low-fat cottage cheese (watch portions!) and then eat dinner with the rest of the family. I try to be careful with portion sizes at dinner time but don't stress myself out too much. It's a process! Sometimes after dinner I will be craving sweetness. I have a container of protein ball mixture and eat a spoonful when I have such cravings. That will usually tide me over and keep me from seeking out a bag of chocolate chips to finish off.
Is my diet perfect? No. Am I learning new habits and healthier options? Yes. That's what matters. I still crave heavier options and even find myself longing for fast food at times. What a strange emotion of sadness I felt the other day when I saw someone else in a drive-thru line and wished it was me. How disappointing that I should feel that way! How proud I was that I didn't turn the car around. I still have a ways to go but I keep reminding myself that it will be hard. I will be hungry. It will take time to see and feel real results. But, it will be worth it. I have spent too much time in my life in the habit of wishing and dreaming to be fit and healthy and, for the first time in my life, I now see this instead as an obtainable goal. That keeps me going.
Monday, September 28, 2015
Cravings and Keeping the Momentum
I failed to post towards the end of last week, as I had planned. It's been challenging to keep the momentum going this week. I've done pretty well with eating--I enjoyed some apple pie I made for our women's broadcast but don't feel too bad about it. I am looking for a balance and do not feel the need to beat myself up. I've also done pretty well with exercising and keeping active. I have found that I am enjoying walking more, and have not had any more chest pains when doing so. My legs still hurt a bit, but I realize that they are supporting a lot of weight and it will take some time for the pain to go away.
One thing I've been struggling with is cravings. Prior to my decision to work on getting healthy, I had gotten into the habit of eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. One of the things I grew especially fond of, and indulged in nearly every day, was a large cherry or strawberry limeade from Sonic. Honestly, I still want it pretty badly most days. I had also gotten used to ordering the cheddar peppers at Sonic when I went to get my soda. Some days I would order them and eat them even though I didn't really want them or they didn't taste good to me. It was a habit I got into and it has been hard to break. I have been without these items for a couple of weeks now and it is getting easier.
So far my resolve to eat better and be more active has done pretty good to help keep me going, but it is a challenge. I am so grateful for the support I am getting from family and friends, especially my sweet husband. Without his support I know I would not be doing so well. Some mornings I really dislike him when he annoys me out of bed and onto my walk, but I really appreciate that annoyance once I have returned home afterwards. Today was one of those days. I ended up getting in a nice, long walk, and feel much better for it. Thanks, Rick.
One thing I've been struggling with is cravings. Prior to my decision to work on getting healthy, I had gotten into the habit of eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. One of the things I grew especially fond of, and indulged in nearly every day, was a large cherry or strawberry limeade from Sonic. Honestly, I still want it pretty badly most days. I had also gotten used to ordering the cheddar peppers at Sonic when I went to get my soda. Some days I would order them and eat them even though I didn't really want them or they didn't taste good to me. It was a habit I got into and it has been hard to break. I have been without these items for a couple of weeks now and it is getting easier.
So far my resolve to eat better and be more active has done pretty good to help keep me going, but it is a challenge. I am so grateful for the support I am getting from family and friends, especially my sweet husband. Without his support I know I would not be doing so well. Some mornings I really dislike him when he annoys me out of bed and onto my walk, but I really appreciate that annoyance once I have returned home afterwards. Today was one of those days. I ended up getting in a nice, long walk, and feel much better for it. Thanks, Rick.
Monday, September 21, 2015
Weekend Struggles and Numbers that Hurt
The weekend was more difficult than I anticipated. By Friday, I was kind of worn out. I did get some walking in on Friday, and played volleyball in the evening, but not much other exercise. Saturday was worse. I didn't get a walk in and ended up napping a bit. My eating was, well, okay. I haven't been snacking like previously and did pretty good with serving sizes, but didn't eat as well as I had hoped. I did manage to get a walk in Sunday night. In fact, it felt so good that I walked for about 60 minutes. So, I'm doing pretty good but need to work harder to stay on-track and motivated.
To help with this, today I had a fitness assessment at the HRC Fitness Center in town. I knew that I was in bad shape, but seeing everything written down made my health plight that much more real to me. It's hard to not feel overwhelmed when I can see how far I have to go. Here are some of the stats:
Weight: 308
Height: 5'9"
Resting blood pressure: 135/85
Resting heart rate: 83
Seven Site Skinfold (BMI test):
Lean weight: 183
Fat weight: 125
Fat percentage: 42%
Push-up test: 6 in a minute (although I didn't make it all the way down)
Sit and reach distance: 13 1/4
I plan to go in three months and test again to see what progress I've made. It is kind of a downer to see how bad I've gotten, but it is also motivating to know that I can do better. I am resolved to improve but I know it is going to take a long time. This is challenging as I (like many of us) have gotten used to instantaneous gratification. I even get frustrated when my cell phone takes to long to load Facebook (yeah, first-world problems, I know). However, I have a great support system and I am motivated to make the changes I need. So, let's keep moving forward.
To help with this, today I had a fitness assessment at the HRC Fitness Center in town. I knew that I was in bad shape, but seeing everything written down made my health plight that much more real to me. It's hard to not feel overwhelmed when I can see how far I have to go. Here are some of the stats:
Weight: 308
Height: 5'9"
Resting blood pressure: 135/85
Resting heart rate: 83
Seven Site Skinfold (BMI test):
Lean weight: 183
Fat weight: 125
Fat percentage: 42%
Push-up test: 6 in a minute (although I didn't make it all the way down)
Sit and reach distance: 13 1/4
I plan to go in three months and test again to see what progress I've made. It is kind of a downer to see how bad I've gotten, but it is also motivating to know that I can do better. I am resolved to improve but I know it is going to take a long time. This is challenging as I (like many of us) have gotten used to instantaneous gratification. I even get frustrated when my cell phone takes to long to load Facebook (yeah, first-world problems, I know). However, I have a great support system and I am motivated to make the changes I need. So, let's keep moving forward.
Friday, September 18, 2015
So. Many. Steps.
The post title pretty much sums up how I feel about this process. There are so many steps to getting healthy. I've neglected my health in so many ways that it is going to take time and effort to really turn things around. When I stop to think about how much there is to do I get overwhelmed, so I am simply choosing to take it a little bit at a time.
Over the past year or so, I've grown accustomed to a pretty sedentary lifestyle. In fact, I have gotten to the point where it hurts to stand for very long. I get easily fatigued. This is frustrating and hurts many areas of my life. I can't run and play with my kids like they need and deserve. I am missing out on so much because of my selfish lifestyle. But I am changing.
I started pushing myself to be more active about two weeks ago. I started by walking my first-grader to school every morning. We live a few blocks from her school. This walk, which should be easy for someone my age, was actually really tough for a while. My legs would hurt and I would be severely winded from the exercise. It gradually got a little easier. After a few days, I started adding some time to my walk after dropping her off. At first, I would walk for just a few minutes and then would have to stop and rest before heading home.
As of Monday of this week, I have been walking for about thirty steady minutes each morning after dropping my daughter off (except for Wednesday, when directionally-challenged me got lost and ended up walking in circles. I got in almost 60 minutes that day just trying to find my way home). For the first half of this week, my legs and feet hurt badly and I would have a bit of chest pain to work through at the beginning of each walk. By today, my legs are hurting much less and I didn't notice any chest pain. I feel a little better every day, and even feel my mood lifting a bit.
Is this all easy? No. Would I rather stay in bed most days? Absolutely. Is it getting easier? A little bit at a time. Do I expect amazing results right off the bat? Heck no. I'm realistic. It took time to get to the point I'm at and I know that it will take time to get to where I want to be. I'm not focusing on my weight right now; I'm focusing on getting to feeling better. My goal with walking is to work my way up to being able to walk for 60 minutes at a time without it being too difficult. Then I will be ready to move on to some personal training. I plan to add ten minutes every other week as I feel comfortable. That's a lot of steps!
I've also decided that I should get a "base" reading of where I'm at now, so that I can better see my results after some time has passed. On Monday morning I will be going to have a personal fitness test at the Hays Recreational Center. This should help me have a better idea of where I'm starting from, especially since I haven't even looked at a scale in over a year. I will post my results next week. I plan to post about twice a week, so I hope you'll keep up with my progress. I really appreciate everyone's support and words of encouragement! Have a great weekend.
Over the past year or so, I've grown accustomed to a pretty sedentary lifestyle. In fact, I have gotten to the point where it hurts to stand for very long. I get easily fatigued. This is frustrating and hurts many areas of my life. I can't run and play with my kids like they need and deserve. I am missing out on so much because of my selfish lifestyle. But I am changing.
I started pushing myself to be more active about two weeks ago. I started by walking my first-grader to school every morning. We live a few blocks from her school. This walk, which should be easy for someone my age, was actually really tough for a while. My legs would hurt and I would be severely winded from the exercise. It gradually got a little easier. After a few days, I started adding some time to my walk after dropping her off. At first, I would walk for just a few minutes and then would have to stop and rest before heading home.
As of Monday of this week, I have been walking for about thirty steady minutes each morning after dropping my daughter off (except for Wednesday, when directionally-challenged me got lost and ended up walking in circles. I got in almost 60 minutes that day just trying to find my way home). For the first half of this week, my legs and feet hurt badly and I would have a bit of chest pain to work through at the beginning of each walk. By today, my legs are hurting much less and I didn't notice any chest pain. I feel a little better every day, and even feel my mood lifting a bit.
Is this all easy? No. Would I rather stay in bed most days? Absolutely. Is it getting easier? A little bit at a time. Do I expect amazing results right off the bat? Heck no. I'm realistic. It took time to get to the point I'm at and I know that it will take time to get to where I want to be. I'm not focusing on my weight right now; I'm focusing on getting to feeling better. My goal with walking is to work my way up to being able to walk for 60 minutes at a time without it being too difficult. Then I will be ready to move on to some personal training. I plan to add ten minutes every other week as I feel comfortable. That's a lot of steps!
I've also decided that I should get a "base" reading of where I'm at now, so that I can better see my results after some time has passed. On Monday morning I will be going to have a personal fitness test at the Hays Recreational Center. This should help me have a better idea of where I'm starting from, especially since I haven't even looked at a scale in over a year. I will post my results next week. I plan to post about twice a week, so I hope you'll keep up with my progress. I really appreciate everyone's support and words of encouragement! Have a great weekend.
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
Food
I love food. Or, more correctly, I love to eat food. This is one of my biggest challenges and a natural first place to start in my journey to better health. Food has become almost my everything and I use it to bury my sadness, my fear, my anger, my frustration, my insecurities and, worst of all, even my happiness. Sometimes I eat just to eat. The food might not even taste that good to me. My stomach might be hurting from the onslaught but I continue to shove it in. This is how I self-medicate. This is my addiction.
It has a taken a long time to get to this point. I think I've always had a bad relationship with food and that the challenges in the recent years of my life have only accentuated the problem. Perhaps the most difficult part is that I have always misunderstood nutrition. I blush a little to remember that, at some point in my childhood, I picked up the idea that sugar calories weren't a big idea because they're "easy to burn off." I held this idea in the back of my head long into my late teens and early twenties. I still struggle to know what I should and should not eat. It's easy to feel overwhelmed with this--especially with the myriad of "diet plans" and modes of thinking that are out there. I'm guessing that I'm not the only person who struggles with this.
Luckily for me, an opportunity to learn about nutrition and learn healthy eating has presented itself. I have a friend from church who has recently opened a fitness center. She also prepares healthy meals for client and has graciously been taking some time to teach me about what she does. I have already learned a few healthy meals that I can prepare at home. Komoss, you are literally a God-send. I am so grateful for what you've been teaching me. The food is delicious and I am excited about what I'm learning. I have been eating these healthy meals for almost two days now. I love how they taste and I'm looking forward to feeling better as I continue to eat better. I won't lie and say that I'm never hungry, but I am learning to appreciate what I am eating and stick within portion sizes.
(If any of you would like to learn more about Komoss and her facility, here's her website: jumpstarthealthandfitness.com)
So, I have started focusing on a big part of my problem. I am excited to see where this goes. I hope you are, too.
It has a taken a long time to get to this point. I think I've always had a bad relationship with food and that the challenges in the recent years of my life have only accentuated the problem. Perhaps the most difficult part is that I have always misunderstood nutrition. I blush a little to remember that, at some point in my childhood, I picked up the idea that sugar calories weren't a big idea because they're "easy to burn off." I held this idea in the back of my head long into my late teens and early twenties. I still struggle to know what I should and should not eat. It's easy to feel overwhelmed with this--especially with the myriad of "diet plans" and modes of thinking that are out there. I'm guessing that I'm not the only person who struggles with this.
Luckily for me, an opportunity to learn about nutrition and learn healthy eating has presented itself. I have a friend from church who has recently opened a fitness center. She also prepares healthy meals for client and has graciously been taking some time to teach me about what she does. I have already learned a few healthy meals that I can prepare at home. Komoss, you are literally a God-send. I am so grateful for what you've been teaching me. The food is delicious and I am excited about what I'm learning. I have been eating these healthy meals for almost two days now. I love how they taste and I'm looking forward to feeling better as I continue to eat better. I won't lie and say that I'm never hungry, but I am learning to appreciate what I am eating and stick within portion sizes.
(If any of you would like to learn more about Komoss and her facility, here's her website: jumpstarthealthandfitness.com)
So, I have started focusing on a big part of my problem. I am excited to see where this goes. I hope you are, too.
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
It Begins
Hi. My name is Ginny and I am morbidly obese. You're probably thinking that this is a strange way to introduce myself, but the truth is that this is the exact introduction people get when they first meet me face-to-face. There's no hiding it. It is part of who I am. It is not, however, all of who I am. I am also wife to an awesome husband and mother of the three best kids in the whole wide world. I am a singer, an artist, a cook, a baker, a dreamer and an achiever.
My size is not all there is to me and it should not be my defining characteristic. I am afraid, however, that it all-to-often becomes just that--and I am the worst offender for this line of thinking. Frankly, I obsess over my weight. Night and day. Hardly a moment goes by when I'm not thinking about it. Honestly, it's hard not to.
The thing that most of you who aren't obese may not realize is that it hurts. A lot. Imagine carrying yourself around on your back all day. And all night. And again tomorrow, and the day after that. After awhile, you'd get a little sore, wouldn't you? Your back would hurt. Your knees and feet would be killing you and you'd probably want to sit down as much as possible. You would toss and turn at night because you're too sore to get comfortable. Many activities would be difficult or impossible because of your size. Welcome to my world. But please don't pity me. I did this to myself.
So, why not just lose the weight? It's a question that I ask myself every day. I've gotten really good at making excuses about why today is not a good day to start eating right or why tomorrow won't be a good day to work out. When I take the time to be honest with myself, I realize that it's all rubbish. I've gotten good at making the excuses and packing on the pounds. Some of my excuses are really good, I must admit, but I've had enough. I'm fed up with this life and I am ready for a change.
This is my story as I work to make the changes that I so desperately need. This is my outlet to express the ups and downs of my journey and seek to hold myself accountable. Judge me if you must, but your encouragement would be much more valuable. This is your chance to laugh and cry with me and support my efforts. This is the story of how I'm going to get healthy.
My size is not all there is to me and it should not be my defining characteristic. I am afraid, however, that it all-to-often becomes just that--and I am the worst offender for this line of thinking. Frankly, I obsess over my weight. Night and day. Hardly a moment goes by when I'm not thinking about it. Honestly, it's hard not to.
The thing that most of you who aren't obese may not realize is that it hurts. A lot. Imagine carrying yourself around on your back all day. And all night. And again tomorrow, and the day after that. After awhile, you'd get a little sore, wouldn't you? Your back would hurt. Your knees and feet would be killing you and you'd probably want to sit down as much as possible. You would toss and turn at night because you're too sore to get comfortable. Many activities would be difficult or impossible because of your size. Welcome to my world. But please don't pity me. I did this to myself.
So, why not just lose the weight? It's a question that I ask myself every day. I've gotten really good at making excuses about why today is not a good day to start eating right or why tomorrow won't be a good day to work out. When I take the time to be honest with myself, I realize that it's all rubbish. I've gotten good at making the excuses and packing on the pounds. Some of my excuses are really good, I must admit, but I've had enough. I'm fed up with this life and I am ready for a change.
This is my story as I work to make the changes that I so desperately need. This is my outlet to express the ups and downs of my journey and seek to hold myself accountable. Judge me if you must, but your encouragement would be much more valuable. This is your chance to laugh and cry with me and support my efforts. This is the story of how I'm going to get healthy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)